


Allegro

by BeeAnka



Series: Sing Me A Song Of Despair [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 19:38:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12539624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeeAnka/pseuds/BeeAnka
Summary: Mukuro spends her morning, noon, and afternoon speaking to three very different people.





	Allegro

**Author's Note:**

> I had to delete this after posting it first, because it cut a part of the story out and I kinda panicked! But now it should be fine!
> 
> I'm really spoiled to have a girlfriend who draws art for the work I create! She's drawn two pieces based on the previous chapter in the series.
> 
> Sayaka passing a note to Mukuro: https://inacron.tumblr.com/post/166688064346
> 
> Junko being a little shit: https://inacron.tumblr.com/post/166688265696

* * *

 

Mukuro yawns, suppressing her growing urge to chuck her phone against the wall.

She's spent too much time listening to Sayaka's songs yesterday, was too excited to fall asleep in less than an hour afterwards too. Seeing as she's used to not getting much sleep because of her time in Fenrir, it's not that bad on its own, but combined with the frustration due to her failure in gathering information it's aggravating.

Dissatisfied, Mukuro puts her phone back into her blazer's pocket and mentally apologizes to Junko. Despite her sister's advice yesterday, she hasn't come closer to any kind of epiphany about being gay. This has only been her first attempt as of yet, and a shallow one at that, yet she still expected to make at least a little bit of progress.

Ten minutes ago she was thankful that Junko _("I won't accept my big sis not having a damn phone!")_ had forced the thing on her at the start of school -- not that her sister calls or texts her all that often -- but now? Not so much. If the world wide web is that voluminous, how come her search hasn't yielded anything at all? She's even made sure that the information was as detailed as it could be without revealing too much. Surely she can't be the only one confused when it comes to romantic orientation? There have to be a lot of other people as well.

Well, maybe she could just inquire about it herself instead of looking for people with similiar experiences. The thought somehow makes her feel embarrassed... it's not a bad idea though. She takes her phone out again. It takes a little while for her to create an account on this Yahoo Answers platform -- the site that has shown up the most during her ten minute search -- but she manages it eventually. She types her problem in and turns the internet off. Now she'll just have to wait, and she refuses to be desperate enough to refresh the web page every few seconds to see if anyone answered.

She doesn't want to rely on the internet alone, but there isn't anyone she can talk to. She has already tried Junko. Sayaka is obviously out of the question. She supposes there is Naegi. He is trying to make conversation with her sometimes -- and hasn't she considered not ignoring him all the time as a show of gratitude for yesterday? He might be an option. Although suddenly trying to talk about her romantic orientation would be a little awkward after ignoring him all the time before, wouldn't it? Then again, he may be too good-natured to take offense. There's the chance of him being homophobic, but even if he was, it'd be easy for her to intimidate him into keeping quiet about it.

Normally she wouldn't care about being 'outed' or whatever the word is -- what does it matter if a bunch of people she doesn't care for judge her? However, thinking about a negative reaction from Sayaka makes her feel sick.

She doesn't believe that Sayaka would actually mind, and it's not like she plans on telling anyone that it's her she has a crush on either, yet ignoring the possibility is foolish. Even if Sayaka didn't mind, she might feel pressured not to associate with her to protect her group's reputation, as well as her own. It might damage Junko's reputation too -- and although her sister didn't seem to care in the least yesterday, Mukuro does care. There are a lot of things to consider.

It's annoying and aggravating. Why is homophobia even a thing to begin with? The concept makes no sense at all. Whatever the reason for its existence, there's no way it wasn't a ridiculous one. As if she didn't have enough to worry about already... there has to be some arbitrary, ill-defined rule in society that condems being in love when it's directed at someone with the same gender. She's never bothered to think about this before, but now it just seems like the stupidest and most pointlessly unfair thing in the world.

Mukuro forces herself to calm down. There's no point in getting worked up over it. It's not like it matters. After all, only two people's opinions matter to her. Junko even seems to approve of her supposedly being a lesbian, and she will make sure no one tells Sayaka until maybe one day where she will tell the idol herself. There _is_ a small risk. Someone she might speak to about the whole thing being too foolish to keep quiet is something that could happen. Well, it's a risk she is willing to take. Unless...

"Junko-chan wouldn't." Mukuro whispers to herself.

Is that really true, though? Junko might do it to make her feel despair. Since Mukuro hasn't explained her stance on the matter yet, her sister would think she was doing her a favor.

Mukuro looks at her phone. Not very long until classes start, but Junko is irregular when it comes to showing up in class, which means she might still be in her room.

It's a good thing their dorms are directly next to each other.

She quickly leaves her room and rings on Junko's doorbell, hoping her sister hasn't decided to sleep in. Getting between Junko and her sleep can be unpleasant.

It takes rather long for Junko to open, and when she finally does she looks annoyed. "Sis? This had better be good."

"I'm sorry for bothering you, Junko-chan." Mukuro says, feeling chastised. "May I come in, please?"

Junko turns around and walks back into her room, throwing something over her shoulder that Mukuro easily catches. "Sure, whatever, but since you've interrupted me you're doing my mascara. Can't leave for class without it."

Holding the tube like it's the most fragile item on earth, Mukuro softly closes the door behind her. "You would be the most beautiful girl in school without mascara too." She says, opening the tube and taking out the wand applicator.

Junko slumps down on the chair she has designated as a make-up seat. "No shit, dumbass!" She scoffs. "Only someone as hopelessly ugly as you would be content with that though. I need to be fucking perfect!"

If that's the case, Mukuro wonders why Junko would ask _her_ to apply it then. While it's true that she has become moderately competent at doing it -- and it's taken a lot of practice -- her sister is obviously still better at everything related to make-up. It's pointless to question that though, so Mukuro gets to work. And even though she has successfully done so many times before, it feels alien and nerve-racking to her every single time. She needs to heavily concentrate for it too, meaning she can't even bring up the reason she has sought Junko out in the morning yet. Not that her sister seems to care right now, being unusually quiet like always when having make-up applied to her.

When she's finally done, she holds up a mirror for Junko. Her sister gives it a short look and says: "It'll have to do."

"Thank you, Junko-chan." Mukuro says, heart fluttering at the praise.

Junko yawns. She takes the mirror out of Mukuro's hands and looks at herself from different angles. "What is it you wanted again?" She asks.

"Um." Mukuro swallows. Now that she's in Junko's room and talking to her, she feels certain reservations about the whole thing... yet it's too late to back out now. "I was wondering. About Sayaka-san. If she found out about my feelings, there is a chance she would hate me. So..." She trails off, unsure on how to actually pose the question to her sister, but Junko finishes the sentence before she can come up with anything.

"So you want me to keep quiet about your cute little crush." Junko rocks back on her chair, prompting Mukuro to steady it immediately. Junko looks up into her face and smiles slightly. "That's so cute, Mukuro-chan," she coos. "Do you want to taste the despair of doing it yourself?! Watch Sayaka-chan's face turn into a disgusted sneer when she realizes you're a freak?!"

"Ah... that's another thing." Mukuro's hands grip the sides of the chair so hard it's painful. "I... I was-" _(hoping)_ "I was thinking. Despair is exciting, but too much despair at once... might not be. For me. I'm not nearly at your level yet, Junko-chan. S-So..." She tentatively looks at her sister, and she sees the smile is gone. There isn't any anger either.

Junko's face is expressionless.

Mukuro wants to run away, yet she continues speaking in a shaky voice. "So that's why I wanted to ask. Wanted to ask if that's alright. I- I mean despair is great because it's unpredictable, right? That's what you're always saying. It's only been two days and Sayaka-san has surprised me so much already. I like her a lot, Junko-chan. And we- we're sisters, aren't we?" To her horror, the entire speech she has planned in advance over the last day comes out as utterly incoherent, but right now she is past the point of being able to collect her thoughts.

Junko's face remains expressionless.

"Please say something, Junko-chan." Mukuro croaks out. "I will do anything you want." Empty words, and they both know it. She will do anything Junko wants either way. "I mean, I would do anything for you no matter what. I just want-" _(to feel)_ "I just want to spend more time with Sayaka-san. I-"

"Shut up." Junko's voice is as toneless as her face expressionless. Then, she starts laughing under her breath. "You're so hopelessly, utterly, totally, absolutely, STUPID!" The last, shouted word is accentuated with another short burst of laughter. "You don't even _realize_ it!"

"What... what do you mean? Realize what?"

Junko ignores her. "You want more time playing pretend with Sayaka-chan? Go ahead! I won't stop you."

Mukuro doesn't understand. And doesn't this seem too easy? "Junko-chan?" She asks- no, _pleads_. "Did I do anything wrong?"

"Hey, now." Junko has a smile on her face, yet it's devoid of any humor. "I know you're as stupid as you're ugly, but I'm getting bored with just how stupid you are."

"I'm sorry." Mukuro mumbles. She wishes Junko would just explain for once, but that's not how her sister operates. Still, hasn't she been... vaguely positive about the request? "You really don't mind if I'm friends with Sayaka-san?" Mukuro asks to be sure.

"Nope! Knock yourself out!"

Despite how cheerful Junko seems, something feels off. No, something is _definitely_ off, although Mukuro has no idea what. Things with her sister are never this simple.

But Junko does seem like she is in a good mood, so maybe it's a good time to bring up those thoughts from yesterday. "There is something else, Junko-chan." Mukuro feels like her mouth is filled with glass shards, regretting it immediately. What is she thinking, telling her sister that after she has already bothered her with so many other things? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Junko doesn't respond, silently waiting for Mukuro to continue.

She notices Junko's face reacting to her indecisiveness with what she's reasonably sure is amusement, but Junko's temper means that could change any second. "I was thinking something stupid yesterday during detention," she begins. Sounding coherent to herself, Mukuro continues with slightly more confidence: "It was just a split second. I regretted it immediately, I swear. I was blinded by my feelings for Sayaka-san."

"Hey, sis." Junko interrupts coldly. "Get to the point."

"I'm sorry." Mukuro mutters, her confidence shattering again. Nevertheless, Junko has given an order. "I thought about asking you to leave Sayaka-san out of your plans." Saying it bluntly like that, even though her sister has given the command, makes all her guilt gush out like blood out of a wound. "I'm sorry, Junko-chan. I'm stupid, I'm worthless, I'm a disappointment, I'm-"

Once again she is interrupted when Junko shrieks with laughter. "Oh, that's- that's even funnier! I'm gonna ruin my fucking make-up because of you, Mukuro-chan!"

If Mukuro still had an idea as to what's going on, which is a rarity when talking to Junko, it would be gone by now. "Junko-chan," she says weakly. "I'm sorry."

Junko slowly calms down. "For what?" She asks, still snickering a little. "Aww, Mukuro-chan! Don't beat yourself up over it! That's my job! I mean, obviously I'd deny that request." Junko jumps out of the chair suddenly, and Mukuro can't quite stop herself from flinching. Her sister whirls around to look at her, putting her left hand on her hip. "Honestly, sis. Singling Sayaka-chan out is pretty unfair to all our other lovely classmates, isn't it? Don't be selfish. I'd love to throw you a bone, but you're still gnawing on the one from two days ago!"

"I would never ask you for anything like that." What was supposed to be a protest comes out as a mumble. "It was just a stupid thought..."

"And we both know you're stupid already, don't we?" Junko asks. After a slight pause, she adds: "That wasn't a rhetorical question, sis."

"I'm stupid." Mukuro agrees.

Junko beams. "Then what's the problem? Stupid people do stupid things, like stupidly thinking a stupid thought. Duh!" She picks up her phone from her bed and lets out an exaggerated gasp. "We're gonna be late for class if we don't go now, Mukuro-chan! Do you really wanna give your cute little sister another detention?"

Mukuro isn't aware that she's been responsible for one of Junko's previous detentions, and it sounds like she's being accused of it for some reason, but there is no time to ask her. Probably not a good idea either way. "Let's go, Junko-chan. And..." She tries to smile at her sister, not quite sure whether she's managing to or not. "Thank you for being understanding." Although she means the words, a part of her is scared. It's too easy, too simple. She doesn't want to distrust her baby sister, but...

It's pointless to think about that. Whatever Junko's intent, she is too stupid to figure it out. She's said what she wanted to say. She has to be satisfied with that.

On the way to class, Junko chatters away about random things and Mukuro is happy to listen to her, nodding whenever she's being adressed. She isn't giving her opinion or anything, it's just to signal that she is listening. There's never much for her to say -- she's content to let her sister do the talking. It's not like anything she says would be of value, since Junko is so much smarter and better with words than her. She is often told her lack of input is annoying and boring, though she also tends to get insulted when she does speak up anyway.

Mukuro finds it remarkable how much patience Sayaka must have for her slowness. Well, she supposes Sayaka is still within her range somewhere. It's not that she thinks her friend is stupid too, far from it... it's just that even the more intelligent members of society are nothing compared to Junko -- a girl so intelligent the entire world is too boring for her. That's how her sister put it one time anyway. She's said practically the same in many different ways too. Mukuro tries her best to understand, and she likes to think she's succeeded at least a tiny bit despite her shortcomings. Junko has a flair for the dramatic sometimes, yet the claim doesn't seem like exaggeration.

There's a reason why Junko's hidden talent is analyzing. Or more accurately, that _is_ the reason.

That doesn't mean everything Junko does has some kind of complicated reason of course, but it's enough to make Mukuro wary sometimes. Like the whole Sayaka thing. Maybe Junko really doesn't care... that's not what it feels like though.

Mukuro feels like she's being redundant. She couldn't figure anything out even if she tried, which is why there's no point in speculating. Even if she did figure out Junko was planning something bad, what option would she have? Defying Junko is out of the question. She could plead with her sister, she supposes, but would that do anything?

Would Junko care? She cares about her of course... yet would she care enough to accept what Mukuro thinks about the whole thing? Or would Junko think she knows better than her?

What if Junko  _did_ know better than her in this instance?

Mukuro is afraid of the answer.

 

-

 

She finds herself to be a little disappointed that there is no note being passed to her in class, though not surprised. Sayaka is probably trying to be considerate, wants to avoid getting her into trouble again even though it was all because of Mukuro's own carelessness.

Too many thoughts are heckling her during class for her to pay much attention to anything. She isn't capable of stopping herself, and knowing it's all pointless doesn't make any difference.

She turns to Naegi when it's finally lunch break. She hasn't planned on speaking to him today, but she might as well. If it goes fine, it could ease some of her worries, some of the nagging voices in her head. If it does not, then there's the consolation that at least she'll know. It's not like this day can get much worse.

"Naegi-kun, do you want to eat lunch with me?" Mukuro asks. She doesn't really know the etiquette when it comes to inviting someone for this, but figures it sounds good enough.

"Huh?" Naegi looks at her, bewildered. "Ikusaba-san, did you say something?" He seems embarrassed to ask the question. Has she ever actually spoken to him before? She honestly isn't sure.

"I asked if you mind eating lunch with me." Mukuro repeats.

"S-Sure!" Naegi's face lights up, then falls. "Wait, I mean I don't mind eating lunch with you. I'll be happy to!"

"I would like to go to the roof if that's alright with you." A good place to prevent people from listening in on a conversation, seeing as there is no place to hide out of sight.

"Sounds good!"

There's nothing else to say for now, so they silently make their way up. On the third floor's stairs, Mukuro feels her phone buzzing. She doubts it's the school's staff, and there is only one other person who has her phone number as far as she knows.

 **The Most Beautiful Hopelessly Awe Inspiring Being In The Universe:** hey sis why arent you inviting saya instead of that loser what do you want from him lol

Mukuro supposes it's not a surprise that Junko has noticed. Is her sister annoyed because she wanted to eat lunch with her today? Not likely. She would just walk up and get rid off Mukuro's company with a few charming words which they couldn't help but listen to. Junko is just convincing like that.

This has never happened, due to Mukuro's lack of available company, but she knows Junko well enough. Not that they eat lunch together often either -- just occasionally on what she assumes to be a random whim.

Mukuro writes back.

 **Living Peacespoon:** I have something I want to talk to him about. I'm not asking Sayaka-san, because she is always surrounded by others during break and I don't want to make her feel awkward.

She frowns. Right, she occasionally forgets about her text name thing -- Junko had already prepped the phone when she gave it to her. If anyone ever asks for her phone number, Mukuro will definitely change that name.

 **The Most Beautiful Hopelessly Awe Inspiring Being In The Universe:** what you gonna talk about???

 **The Most Beautiful Hopelessly Awe Inspiring Being In The Universe:** no dont bother i already know lol

 **Living Peacespoon:** Have a nice lunch, Junko-chan.

Knowing there won't be another message, Mukuro puts the phone back into her pocket. She wonders if she should apologize to Naegi. Is it considered rude to text when walking with someone else? She doesn't want to make anything more awkward than it is though, which is why she opts to stay quiet instead. It feels plenty awkward already -- it's kind of a relief when they finally reach the roof.

There aren't that many people, something she is glad for. Enjoying the somewhat gloomy weather as well, Mukuro walks over to a more secluded point and sits down on the bench there, Naegi following behind. The weather forecast mentioned the temperature would drop this week, and it seems like this is the case today. It's rather cold, so she's glad to be wearing her blazer. She's only ever been up here once. Yesterday, in fact. She almost regrets it a little. There is a calming atmosphere up on this roof.

Hope's Peak Academy has a nice roof garden too. She wonders whether the school created it or one of the students did -- the Ultimate Gardener maybe. It's far smaller than the actual garden on the lower floor, but it's still nice. This roof should probably not be called a roof anyway... she supposes it's more of a terrace, though then again it's not like she really cares anyway.

"It's really nice up here!" Naegi says, echoing Mukuro's thoughts.

"Yes." She can't think of anything else to say.

Naegi's lunch consists of a sandwich and a small-ish box of milk with a childish looking drawing of a cow on it. Mukuro's own lunch consists of a much bigger sandwich that almost resembles a loaf and a protein drink in a large thermos bottle. She bites, chews, then flushes it down with a gulp of her beverage. By now, eating all her food in this manner is practically a routine.

She notices Naegi, who's eating his own meal at a much slower pace, staring at the entire scene in bafflement, but she waits until she's finished with her lunch to adress it. "Is something wrong?" She asks flatly, after gulping down the last of her protein drink.

He almost chokes on his sandwich, frantically swallowing down the food before answering: "N-No! I've just never seen a sandwich like that." He says, seeming sincere enough about it.

"It's just an MRE sandwich."

"Uh... what is that?" Naegi asks.

Oh, right. She supposes not everyone would know the term. His confusion makes sense. "Meal, Ready-to-Eat. It's military rations." Mukuro explains.

Naegi blinks. "You eat military rations for lunch, Ikusaba-san?"

"I like them," Mukuro says. "Like the name says, I don't have to prepare them. It's more convenient."

"I guess it makes sense that you'd like military rations, Ikusaba-san. With your talent. Uh, I hope it makes sense at least." Naegi sounds a little anxious, prompting Mukuro to think that maybe she has been acting a tad too defensive about this.

"That makes sense." She says, trying to sound like she doesn't bear a grudge. It's an attempt that feels somewhat awkward, considering she genuinely _doesn't_. Then again, their so-called conversation up until this point has been plenty awkward already.

Naegi smiles slightly though, so she thinks her attempt should count as a success. For now. "Do you eat that MRE stuff everyday?" He asks.

"No, it's bad to eat them all the time. There are much better, more nutritious meals for me to eat, since I need to train and keep in shape." Mukuro tells him. She hopes that she isn't rambling -- it's just that there are so few topics she can say anything about... she kind of feels she has to speak more about the ones she does know to make up for it somehow.

"So..." Naegi seems to consider the information. "It's like comfort food? Or, uh, a snack?"

"I suppose." Mukuro says. She feels kind of embarrassed that he puts it that way. If Sayaka said that she's sure she'd mumble her answer, but since Naegi is not Sayaka it comes out normally.

Maybe picking up on the fact that she seems more talkative when the topic is related to the military, Naegi soldiers on. "So did you eat a lot of that MRE stuff when you were in- in the army?" The last bit comes out as uncertain, like he isn't sure if army is the word he wants to say.

"No. Most operations weren't long enough to make them necessary, but I've had a few. I enjoyed the longer ones more though. Maybe that's why I'm fond of these rations." Feeling self-conscious about her rambling again, Mukuro changes the subject to the thing Naegi seems uncertain of. She doesn't want him to make a wrong assumption. "And I'm not sure 'army' is the right word. It's not like I was in the JSDF or anything."

Naegi looks confused, something he seems to do a lot. "Then... does that mean you went to another nation's army?"

Another nation's army? Is he really that ignorant or is there a higher purpose to all these questions? Mukuro glances at the boy warily, but decides she shouldn't be suspicious. He honestly seems like he just wants to learn more about her. It's probably not his fault that he is so ignorant about the military, as well as of the weight of his questions. It's mostly her own fault -- she has spoken way too much.

"The army I was in didn't owe allegiance to any state. That's all I'm going to say." Mukuro tells him. 'Army' isn't exactly the right word for Fenrir. She's said as much, but she doesn't want to dwell on the subject.

Naegi scratches his cheek, looking sheepish. "Sorry if I'm being too nosy. It's just kind of interesting."

"If you say so." Mukuro says dubiously. He doesn't seem like the kind of person to be interested in things like that. She could be wrong, although she's pretty sure she isn't. "I don't think most people would be interested in the military."

"It's not the military as much as just..." Naegi trails off, collecting his thoughts. "I like hearing my classmates tell me about themselves, I guess? It's interesting how different everyone is. Does that make sense?" He scratches his cheek again.

"I suppose." Mukuro says, slightly uncomfortable. Has it been a correct amount of smalltalk already? Maybe now she can finally talk about why she's invited Naegi to begin with. "One time," she begins, suddenly having an idea on how to bring up the subject in a subtle manner. "I saw two men. Cuddling together. I thought they were sharing body heat, but it turns out they were in a romantic relationship." Mukuro forces her lips to curl up. "It was a funny situation."

"Uh..." Naegi looks bewildered. Is that a bad sign? She can't tell. "Mixing it up like that sounds funny, yeah. I hope they weren't mad at you." He says, a nervous smile on his face.

"I didn't say anything, so there was nothing to be mad about. Two men being together like that... it was the first time I had ever seen anything like it, but good for them." Mukuro forces a wider smile, yet she's pretty sure she's resembling a hostage being forced to smile for the camera right now.

Naegi laughs. It sounds about as natural as her smile feels.

Mukuro wonders if the silence following his laughter is the most awkward one of her entire life. It's probably up in the Top Three, at least.

"Well." Mukuro glances at him with just a little anxiety, having realized that subtlety isn't working... oh, it's no use deluding herself. This was not subtlety. It was... _something_. "You don't have a problem with that sort of thing, do you?"

"Of- of course not!" Naegi assures, shaking his head vehemently. "It's fine for guys to like guys. And for girls to like girls! If you were a girl who likes girls, I wouldn't mind at all!"

"I didn't say I was."

"I didn't say you said that!" Naegi looks like he wants to flee, yet he bravely holds his ground. "I'm just saying if you were that'd be fine!"

Mukuro doesn't think the look she is giving him quite qualifies as a glare -- it's not hostile enough -- but it's definitely intense. Her eyes bore into his face, trying to discern how honest he is. After a moment, she nods, deciding she believes him. "Alright. Good to know." She allows her not-quite-glare to soften just a little. "I wouldn't care if you liked boys either."

"Th-Thanks." Naegi's smile is shy, though it looks genuine enough. "Uh..." He tugs on the hem of his hoodie, probably a nervous gesture. "Could it be that you like Maizono-san?" He almost chokes out.

Mukuro stares at him for a while, how long she can't say, until speaking. "Did you figure that out from the notes alone?"

"So it's true?!" Mukuro feels her eyes narrow in irritation. Naegi quickly follows up. "I don't know! It's just you went to her room two days in a row and you started passing notes... and now you're having lunch with me. And bringing stuff up." He rambles, looking increasingly embarrassed. "I wasn't spying on you or anything, I just sorta noticed it. I won't tell her, I promise. I'm sorry for bringing it up."

Mukuro sighs. She stares up at the cloudy sky. "It's fine, Naegi-kun. I kind of invited you up here so I could talk about it anyway."

"Huh? You wanted to talk to me about it?"

Mukuro moves her eyes away from the sky to give him a flat look. "That's what I just said, yes. There isn't really anyone I can talk to. Since you've tried to talk to me before, I figured you would be my best bet."

"What about Enoshima-san? She's your sister, right?"

Considering he is trying to help her, Mukuro tries her best not to be annoyed with Naegi's redundant questions. "Yes. She's given me some advice, but I need more. I'm trying the internet too, but that hasn't gone anywhere yet."

Naegi closes his eyes and seems to think really hard about something. Only a few seconds later, his eyes suddenly shoot open again. "I think I have an idea! Maybe there are girls or boys like you in this school. You could try talking to them." He suggests.

Judging from the way he says it, Naegi doesn't know anyone like that, but it's not a bad thought at all. "That's a good idea." Mukuro praises, because he looks like he could use some of that. "Who do you think would know about those students? I have to assume their romantic preferences wouldn't be common knowledge."

"Enoshima-san is friends with a lot of people, so she'd know about that. Maybe? But you've already asked her..." Naegi promptly dismisses his own idea, not realizing that Junko probably would have told her if Mukuro had bothered to specifically ask for it. Her sister is fickle like that, though it's really more of her own fault for being too stupid to ask it to begin with. Not noticing Mukuro succumbing to self-deprecation, Naegi snaps her out of it by continuing: "Celes-san likes to gossip. She probably knows a lot. Kirigiri-san and Togami-kun know a lot of things too, so maybe they keep track of that stuff. They both seem like they would find out as much about the other people in this school as possible. I could be wrong about all of that though..."

She'd rather survive on insects and muddy water for a week again than ask Togami such a question. The thought of asking Kirigiri or Ludenberg is unpleasant too, to say the least, but she could probably bring herself to do it. And Junko... well, Mukuro's just going to think about that one later.

"I appreciate your help." She says, and means it. This has gone a lot better than it should have.

Naegi beams. "Don't mention it!"

Mukuro looks at her phone. "Break is almost over." She informs him, standing up and patting the brown skirt and brown blazer that Junko always says look boring. Mukuro doesn't really have an opinion on either, but she thinks Sayaka, who's wearing both today, looks nice in them. Junko always does as well whenever she actually bothers wearing the school uniform. Not that it says much, since they'd both probably look nice in everything, even a clown costume.

She doesn't want that last one to be put to the test though.

"Thanks for inviting me! It was fun!" Naegi says, getting up too.

He says that so sincerely that Mukuro, to her surprise, feels a little ashamed of herself. "We could do this again if you want. I wouldn't mind the company." Mukuro suggests. Yes, on second thought it was thoughtless of her to just use Naegi like this without considering his feelings. She owes him for his help, after all.

Sure enough, Naegi smiles brightly. "That would be nice, Ikusaba-san! Good luck with Maizono-san, too!" He tells her, then looks unsure. "Uh, if it's okay to say that."

"It's fine." Mukuro pauses. Doesn't she kind of owe him an apology? She thinks she does. "I'm sorry for making you go to the roof just to talk about my own problems. Feel free to do the same to me anytime." It sounds like a pretty bad apology... she hopes he realizes it's genuine.

Naegi laughs. "It's fine. What are friends for?"

On the way to class, Mukuro's lips quirk involuntarily. Friend, huh? Two friends in three days? That's not a bad statistic, is it?

Her doubts aren't gone, obviously. However, she does feel substantially better than before lunch break. That might be why classes feel like they're over pretty quickly today for her, though a big reason for that is because she has something to look forward to as well.

She's never had much to look forward to before this, has she?

Now she's looking forward to talking to Sayaka... she's even sort of looking forward to spending another lunch break with Naegi. He was pretty easy to talk to, wasn't he? She usually has issues talking to people.

Both Sayaka and Naegi must be very patient people, to put up with someone like her.

 

-

 

Mukuro drinks from the can. She looks at the thing with a frown. "This tastes pretty bad." She declares in a flat tone.

"Seriously?!" Sayaka holds out her hand, prompting Mukuro to give the can to her. Having done so, the idol takes a sip herself. Mukuro would marvel at the whole indirect kiss thing... if she was thirteen years old. "You're right! This is the most disgusting cranberry juice I've ever had!" Sayaka says, sounding weirdly gleeful about the whole thing. She chugs the entire can down in ten seconds, while Mukuro can only stare in a mix between mild fascination and disgust. Her friend giggles upon seeing the look on her face. "Sorry, I just kinda like drinking bad tasting stuff. Is that weird?"

"Yes."

Sayaka pouts. "Well, at least now we know! You will love the juice next time, I guarantee it!"

Mukuro ponders that. "You could just buy the cherry flavored one again. It was good."

"But what if you like another one better! Variety is the spice of life, Mukuro-san!" Sayaka says, like she's quoting someone else.

"I guess it doesn't bother me if it's just juice." Mukuro concedes. She's the kind of type who sticks with something once she likes it and doesn't bother trying out new things, but she supposes it couldn't hurt. Besides, the juice thing is a fun little routine for them at this point. She wonders what they're going to do once they run out of juice flavors.

"Great!" Sayaka cheers. "Drinking gross things is kinda fun!"

"Not really."

Sayaka gasps dramatically. "Why, Mukuro-san! When have you begun to disagree with me on anything? I'm hurt!"

"Probably around the time you tried to poison me with cranberry juice." Mukuro muses.

The response is laughter, causing her to smile. "Hey, Mukuro-san. I was wondering..." Sayaka begins, still catching her breath a little. "Why don't you ever eat lunch with me?"

That's not a question Mukuro expected. Still, she answers: "You haven't invited me."

Judging from the way Sayaka's lips purse, Mukuro feels like she's just her. "But we're friends! Of course you're invited, I didn't think I'd have to-" Sayaka stops herself, suddenly looking guilty. "Oh geez, I should've- I'm sorry, Mukuro-san!"

"It's alright." Mukuro says, feeling taken aback by the rather extreme response. "You're eating lunch with a lot of people. I'm not the most social person, so I didn't think I would fit in very well. That's why I haven't asked."

"I should've realized that!" Sayaka says, clearly vexed. Mukuro's first instinct is to apologize, but it's obviously herself Sayaka is annoyed with. "You're shy! Obviously, you wouldn't just go up to us and... geez, I can't believe I'm so dumb!"

"It's alright." Mukuro repeats. It's kind of embarrassed, being spoken of like that. "I could have asked you yesterday and the day before that too. It's not like it's your fault."

"It's obvious you wouldn't ask that though!" Sayaka shoots back. She groans. "Well, being angry at myself won't change anything. So, Mukuro-san," she begins with a look of utmost seriousness on her face. "Would you like to eat lunch with me tomorrow?"

"I- yes, of course!" Mukuro agrees enthusiastically, yet feels like she has to make sure if it's really okay. "Won't your friends mind though?"

"Nope! And if they do, so what?" The way Sayaka says that makes Mukuro happier than she has any right to be. "To be honest," she leans forward, sporting a mischievous smile, and whispers: "You're kind of my favorite."

Sayaka is so close that Mukuro can smell her lip balm/gloss/stick/whatever. She's glad they're sitting down, because she feels like falling over. Realizing she hasn't said a thing in favor of staring at the idol for a while, she forces something out of her mouth. "I-I see." It comes out as such a pathetic squeak that she wants to sink into the ground. She feels awfully hot too, but taking her blazer off right now might be a little awkward.

To her relief (?), Sayaka pulls back and lets out that girlish giggle Mukuro likes hearing so much. Titling her head, she asks: "Aren't I your favorite too?"

"Y-You are." Mukuro says, managing to not sound completely stupid despite a small stutter for once. Well, it's not like there is much competition. The 'friend' loophole is fortunate -- if the question was between Sayaka and Junko, she'd probably stop functioning out of stress.

"I hope Naegi-kun isn't trying to steal first place from me," Sayaka teases. "I saw you leave the room together."

She noticed that, huh? "I wanted to talk to him about something. And I felt bad for always ignoring him." Mukuro says. She hesitates a little before bringing up the next part, but she does owe Naegi. "Would you mind if he joined us from time to time?"

Sayaka looks surprised, though after a moment she sports a small smile. "Of course not. Naegi-kun is nice."

"He's a good listener." Mukuro agrees. She'd rather spend time with Sayaka alone, but she supposes there are a lot of worse third wheels than Naegi Makoto.

"That reminds me..." Sayaka says, like she's thinking out loud. "You used to eat lunch in the classroom, but since we've started being friends you leave the room. Why's that?"

"I didn't want to make you feel like you would be forced to invite me, watching me sit alone while hanging out with your friends." Mukuro explains almost apologetically.

Sayaka's face falls. "Oh, Mukuro-san," she murmurs. Then, however, her face turns determined and she stands up. "Come on, we're going to the roof!"

"The roof...? Isn't it a bit late?" Mukuro asks, though she's already standing too.

"It's not curfew yet!" Sayaka argues. "Come on!"

There is not much activity in the hallways, and the roof is empty.

The first thing Sayaka does upon arriving is stretch and whirl around to grin at Mukuro. "Looks like we got everything to ourselves!" She puts her hands on her hips and bends her head upwards. "Be grateful! You don't want to know how much this reservation cost me."

Mukuro is reminded so much of Junko's royalty shtick that she gives a short laugh, which she promptly smothers with her right hand.

Sayaka beams. "I've made you laugh!" She says in the same way someone else might say they have won the lottery.

Biting her lower lip, Mukuro tries her best to make her voice sound flat. "It only happens once every seven years." She ruins it by not being able to hold a smile back any longer, and it's Sayaka's turn to give a short laugh. Then they look at each other and promptly laugh again, this time together. She isn't even sure what's so funny, but can't help herself. It feels good to laugh with Sayaka.

The moment is interrupted when her phone buzzes. Sayaka notices the sound too, and looks at her questioningly. Mukuro doesn't want to be rude, but can't make Junko wait. "I'm sorry, Sayaka-san," she tells her friend. "Junko-chan gets annoyed when I take too long answering her, so I should better see what she wants." It might be something important too.

 **The Most Beautiful Hopelessly Awe Inspiring Being In The Universe:** a date on the roof??? tell me the details later!!!

Or maybe it's not very important at all. How does Junko know they're on the roof right now anyway? It doesn't really matter though, so Mukuro just types a short answer back without bothering to ask.

 **Living Peacespoon:** It's not a date, Junko-chan, but thank you. I will tell you about it later.

After she puts it in her blazer's pocket again, she notices Sayaka looking at her oddly. "That's strange," Sayaka mutters. "I thought you didn't have a phone."

Mukuro gives her a puzzled look. "I do. What made you think otherwise?"

"Well," Sayaka says. "I asked Junko-chan the other day, but she asked if you look like the type to have one. I thought that was a no."

Mukuro smiles slightly. "Junko-chan is the one who gave it to me at the start of the year, and said it's because I would never get one for myself. She was probably just making a joke based on that."

"Yeah, I guess I just misunderstood." Sayaka agrees, followed by her eagerly taking her own phone out of her blazer's pocket. "Mukuro-san, let's exchange numbers!"

"R-Right!" Mukuro takes out her own phone. It's not a big deal at all, yet she feels excited -- there's that childish word again. "Um, please give me a moment." She adds, quickly changing **Living Peacespoon** to **Mukuro**. She doesn't want Sayaka to read those dumb words if she ever asks to see her phone for some reason.

"Let's exchange phones and put our info in like that!" Sayaka suggests. Mukuro doesn't mind the idea, seeing as she's just changed her name.

They exchange phones. Mukuro types everything in, a bit slowly maybe since she's not used to typing on this kind of device, and exchanges phones with Sayaka again.

Upon seeing the name in there, Mukuro feels her cheeks growing warm.

  **Sayaka-chan**

"Play your cards right and you'll get to call me that soon!" Sayaka claims, winking at her. "The name you've given to Junko-chan is cute, by the way!"

"She typed that in herself." Mukuro mumbles, still feeling rather light-headed as she stares at her phone.

"Okay! We're not here to look at our phones, so let's enjoy the nice weather instead!" Sayaka stuffs her phone back into her pocket and claps, fixing her eyes towards the sky.

Mukuro follows her example.

"Well," Sayaka says. "This is kinda boring. Let's look at our phones again." When an uncertain Mukuro reaches for her pocket, Sayaka interrupts with a: "Just kidding! Let's go sit by the garden!"

Feeling a bit silly, Mukuro follows her high-spirited friend to the bench. They sit down next to each other. She still doesn't quite understand why they're up here to begin with, but it's nice. Sayaka's room is great too of course, yet this is nice in a different way she can't describe.

"It's so pretty up here." Sayaka sighs. "We should come up here more often."

"Yes." Mukuro agrees. "It's unusually cold for May, but that won't be for much longer."

"Do you prefer warm weather, Mukuro-san?" Sayaka asks.

"I do."

Sayaka grins. "Me too. It's just more lively, the flowers bloom, and you can go swim outside..." Her nose scrunches up. "Bugs though... and when it gets _too_ hot, those things suck. Cold weather has a lot of great points too!"

Mukuro smiles a little at Sayaka's excitable behavior. She has a very simple reason for preferring warm weather, but mentioning it would ruin the mood. "I will shoot any bug that looks at you the wrong way." She promises.

"My hero." Sayaka swoons, giggling.

They sit in silence for a while, just looking at the humble amount of flowers in the garden. Despite the small number, it still looks pretty to Mukuro, and she is not someone who particularly loves the things. She can't deny that the short thought of Sayaka presenting her with some flowers makes her heart beat faster though. For no real reason, Mukuro speaks up. "Do you have a favorite flower, Sayaka-san?"

Sayaka smiles at that. "How sly, Mukuro-san. You think I wouldn't realize your plan? You'd better give me a big bouquet though." Before Mukuro can stutter out anything, she chirps: "Just kidding!"

Blushing, Mukuro mumbles: "... Well, are there?"

Sayaka considers the question for a while. "Mallows," she finally answers, sounding thoughtful. "They may not seem like it at first, but if you bother looking they're actually really pretty. How about you?"

Mukuro thinks herself for a while. Is there actually a flower she likes more than others? "Maybe... dandelions?" She half says, half asks. "They look nice." There is a sudden memory, causing her to smile fondly. "Junko-chan and I used to pick them up, blow at them, and watch the seeds float away. There is a saying that goes if you make a wish and blow on a dandelion, then it will come true. Even back when she was small, Junko-chan said that was nonsense. 'You can't just blow your problems away', she would say. Um, anyway..." Mukuro interrupts herself, feeling embarrassed at losing herself in her memories. "It's dandelions, yes. I'm sorry for being stupid." She mutters, staring at the floor. Junko always tells her to stop reminiscing about the past...

"That was a great story, Mukuro-san. Don't apologize." Sayaka puts her left hand on her right one, caressing it as gently as her voice sounds right now. "You're not stupid at all. I like hearing about you a lot."

"Do you-" Mukuro feels wamth spreading from her stomach across her entire body. Sayaka is also caressing her tattoo by proxy -- it fills her with a sensation she can't figure out. "Do you really mean that?" The question sounds pitifully insecure, but she can't stop it from forcing its way past her lips.

"I do." Sayaka says, squeezing her hand for good measure. Their faces aren't even that close... and yet Mukuro feels if she doesn't get away from her soon, she'll burst into flames. It seems like a fair trade though, so she stays where she is. Sayaka looks down at their hands, then back up into her eyes and murmurs: "Are wolves your favorite animals, Mukuro-san?"

Mukuro doesn't trust herself to speak right now. Wolves are the closest thing she has to a favorite animal, which is why she simply nods.

"It fits." Sayaka says, almost whispering the words. "You're both beautiful. Mysterious. And fascinating." She giggles. "Also I kind of want to pet you."

At this point, Mukuro feels an extreme urge to kiss the other girl, yet is simply not able to move. She can't do anything but stare at Sayaka.

It feels like a long time passes, though it can't be more than a couple of seconds before Sayaka pulls back a little, looking embarrassed. "Sorry for saying weird stuff, Mukuro-san. I mean, I was being honest, but still."

"N-No, it's fine!" Mukuro almost yells. Feeling self-conscious, she calms down a little. "I'm really happy you said that to me. I'm just not used to that getting many compliments, so I got nervous."

Sayaka's relief upon hearing that is obvious on her face. "I'm glad," she says. "I didn't want to weird you out."

"You didn't. Not at all." Mukuro feels like she needs to emphasize it. "It's the nicest thing I've ever been told, thank you. I will never forget your words for the rest of my life." She blurts out, and immediately feels her face heat up. Alright, maybe she has said a bit _too_ much.

Sayaka laughs lightly, but she sounds nervous too. "You'd better not! Don't tell anyone though -- if my fans heard about it, they'd be pretty jealous." She winks.

"I won't even tell Junko-chan." Mukuro says. Unless her sister explicitly asks for that information anyway.

They chat for a while after that. The tension in the air disappears slowly, something Mukuro is glad to be rid of. There's certainly something about the tension that she loves, judging from the way it makes her heart race, but it's harder to concentrate and to talk when it's there. She doesn't want to make a fool out of herself in front of Sayaka.

Mukuro feels disappointed like she always does when their conversation is coming to an end, but is brave enough to make a request. "Can I walk you to your room?" She asks.

"I'd love that!" Sayaka answers.

They walk slowly through the now almost empty school. It feels peaceful.

Mukuro suddenly wishes with all her heart that she could hold Sayaka's hand, though obviously she can't do that.

"It's been ages!" Sayaka exclaims when they arrive at her room. Mukuro has to agree -- it does feel like they've spent a very long time up on that roof. Or terrace. It doesn't matter.

"See you tomorrow, Sayaka-san." Mukuro says, giving the idol a bright smile. Well, it's bright by her standards.

"See you tomorrow, Mukuro-san." Sayaka matches her with her own bright smile that Mukuro's come to adore so much. "Don't forget we're gonna eat lunch together tomorrow!"

"I would never forget that." Mukuro says, faintly aware that she's sounding so serious that it's kind of silly, yet she can't bring herself to care.

"I didn't think so! Bye!"

"Bye."

Mukuro has turned to leave as Sayaka was closing the door, but only to give the impression that she wouldn't linger. That she wouldn't stay, staring at the door. Which is what she is doing right now. She takes her phone out of her blazer's pocket and looks at Sayaka's contact info.

**Sayaka-chan**

Mukuro can't help but smile. She grips the phone tightly between her hands. She could break it easily and has to severely restrain herself in order not to. It's the last thing she wants. She raises her right hand and touches the door. It feels ridiculous to do such a thing, yet she can't help it.

"I love you." Mukuro says to the person behind it, who can't hear her. _Because_ she can't hear her. It's ridiculous to do that as well.

It suddenly comes to her mind that Sayaka hasn't asked about her walkman and headphones, and most importantly her songs. Mukuro silently tells herself to bring it up tomorrow, to tell Sayaka how much she loves her music. She really wants to see her friend's face during that.

If she can't tell Sayaka she loves her, she can tell her that much at least.

Mukuro turns to walk to her own dorm room. She starts humming on the way, then starts singing in a low voice once she's in her room, door closed behind her.

"Surely, Shooting Love Shooting Heart." The words are so silly, but saying them fills her with warmth.

Once she lays on her bed, Mukuro starts singing a little louder.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate title of this chapter: Mukuro is a walking human disaster


End file.
